(no subject)

havn't been on here so long i nearly forgot my password and hey look i still have red hair in my picture god tht was like a year ago... :S

yeh so i am currently over contemplating the world agen, upseting everyone and trying to recapture the feeling of being fabulously stoned by listening to the same music (duh like tht'll work)

its all because of tht stupid book. the end of mr y by scarlett thomas.
i identified with it too much and now its taken over my mind, yes even down to the stupid thoughts of rough sex with older men.

i hate that book, never ever read it.

i think thts all i actually have the mental energy to spill atm evethough i came on here for a total rant but oh well thts the way life goes.


ps gonna change my name to Katherine Alexia? Murano
  • Current Mood
    discontent discontent

happy new year

that is the last time i'm ever having wine, cherry sweets and cigarettes for breakfast.

had the best new years eve ever. well ever for me. I went to a party at martin's house, drank tonnes, did a bit of weed (just a teensy bit) and as u can probably tell, let myself smoke a few normal cigarettes too. Didn't go to sleep at all. Just sat in the kitchen with martin and callum, annoying them a bit i think but it was fun.

sorry this entry took me too long to get round to writting but i've only just got the oportunity since my head has been straight.

and i also learnt some things. mostly that bobby is not even half as much of an asshole as i thought he was when i first met him.

  • Current Music
    the zutons - someone watching over me
  • Tags

(no subject)

j'ai survécu Paris ! J'ai survécu réellement !

yeh, totally don't speak french got tht off an internet translator.

i forgot all my french and i nearly died. it was sooo scary.

more later.

got so hyper at the pub last nite, in fact once i'd had a drink i was less hyper. lol.

  • Current Music
    the blood arm - accidental soul

the lies we tell

i'm feeling quite traumatised right now, i was imformed by my mother this morning that i'm gonna be in paris when martin comes home, so tht upset me.

but worse than that i'm traumatised by something from the past which some girl in my sociology class decided to bring up in the lesson yesterday.
A few years ago i was slapped round the face by a girl i hardly knew who accused me and jade of having made racist comments to her. We hadn't we just stuck our fingers up at her sister on the bus. It all blew up into a massive thing with me and jade having to speak to the deputy head teacher and the girl who beat us up bein suspended.
This girl in my sociology class however believed her freind's story that me and jade had racially insulted her and she had been expelled for defending herself. God the passion in her voice when she was talkin about it, she was so angry. I just freaked out. First off i was gonna point out that i was the 'some girl' who charlene had slapped and tell her the true story of how it was a big mess. Then i was gonna walk out of the lesson coz i didn't wanna be all confrontational. In the end i just sat there facing the other way crying quietly hopeing no-one would notice. They didn't which kinda made me feel worse and now i'm paranoid that one day she will remember that i was tht girl and try to avengenge her friend's unfair expulsion. (she was actually only suspended and her parents moved her and her sister to a different school as they 'didn't apreciate the way the school delt with the incident' or at least thats what i was told.)

anyway rant over. I'm just so scared now.


this shit is hilarious

on the daily mail website:

EMO cult warning for parents

By SARAH SANDS Last updated at 23:31pm on 16th August 2006

Flicking through the autumn glossy fashion magazines, I noticed that some of the models did not look very well.

A few of them appeared to be dead. This is because one of the key looks, especially at the younger end of the fashion spectrum, is Goth.

Faces are chalky white, eyes and lips black. You can wear any colour you like so long as it's black.

To achieve that just-got-out-of-acoffin look, you need corsets, capes, Celtic crosses, an unseeing stare and a prop such as a slightly mutilated china doll dragged along in one hand.

For those of us who have lived through Siouxsie And The Banshees and the Rocky Horror Show, the look is depressingly retro.

Fashion acknowledges those of us who lived through it first time round - Elder Goths, as opposed to Baby Bats, who are the under-30s.

It even nods to a working population, permitting Corporate Goths, who wear black trouser suits.

There is a also a term which is new to me and amounts to a much more dangerous teenage cult.

The Emos - short for Emotional - regard themselves as a cool, young sub-set of the Goths.

Although the look is similar, the point of distinction, frightening for schools and parents, is a celebration of self harm.

Emos exchange competitive messages on their teenage websites about the scars on their wrists and how best to display them. Girls' secondary schools have for some time been concerned about the increase in self harm.

One governor of a famous boarding school told me that it was as serious a problem as binge drinking, but rarely discussed for fear of encouraging more girls to do it.

Although it is invariably described as a 'secret shame', there is actually a streak of exhibitionism about it.

The internet has many sites dedicated to Emo fashion (dyed black hair brushed over your face, layering, black, black, black), Emo bands (Green Day, My Chemical Romance), Emo conversation (sighing, wailing, poetry).

The Instant Emo Kit site gives advice on identity. Wear a child's T-shirt with a slogan such as 'Unhappy Chick' and drive a Vespa. Above all, 'show your inner despair by looking like you are too sad to eat. Obesity and emocity do not mix.'

Adult Goths refer to the Emos disdainfully as 'the spooky kids' or 'moshers'.

The Emo song, by the American band Adam And Andrew, has cult status on the internet, appearing on many personal websites. It is called Dear Diary and is both witty and alarming.

The chorus goes: 'Stop my breathing and slit my throat, I must be an Emo.

I don't jump around when I go to shows, I must be an Emo.

Dye in my hair and polish on my toes, I must be an Emo. I play guitar and write suicide notes, I must be an Emo.'

The courting of misery and death is a long-established teenage tradition. How many bedroom walls have been plastered with posters of drippy pre-Raphaelite heroines, or Marc Bolan or Kurt Curbain?

When death is a long way off, you can afford to be more morbid about it.

Film-makers note that horror films are now more popular than romance among young women.

In particular, Goths and Emos are a rebellion against sporty, manly cultures - which is perhaps why they flourish particularly in North European countries or North America.

The androgynous nature of the Goths is appealing to the young because it is sexually unthreatening.

Teenage girls are frightened of manliness: they like boys who look like girls. Kate Moss, the girl who never grows old, understands youthful taste completely.

There is also a deadly glamour about the Goths. The word femme-fatale is Goth based.

Many of the alluring women of our time - Nigella Lawson, Debbie Harry, Chrissie Hynde, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Lily Allen - have a touch of the Goth about them.

They have a sophistication and depth lacking in the blonde, bouncy chav faces which dominate our television screens and nightclubs.

Who are the male pin-ups for young girls? Johnny Depp and the comedian Russell Brand, who is about 90 per cent Goth. Lord Byron, of course, was the greatest Goth of all time.

Emos have a strong arts graduate bias and are among the few that read poetry (if only of the romantic, morbid kind).

Some pretty terrible Emo poetry is offered on websites. A cartoon of two Emos has a bubble which says: 'What rhymes with razor blade?'

But compared to the music, the poetry is positively cheerful. The Gothic bands have names such as Bloody, Dead And Sexy or Colder Than Death.

There is a genre, popular in Germany, known as Death Pop. Bands include The Knives In The Attic and Love Equals Death.

Although Goths are from the same family tree as punks, they are a lot less fun to be with. While I loved punk for its energy, Goths were too bloodless to lift a finger.

One of the most annoying characteristics of teenagers is their refusal to open their curtains. Their world is dark and airless.

If this environment is coupled with the psychological traits of self-pity, introspection, self-dramatisation and hormone imbalance, you have a fully-fledged Emo, even without the small Tshirt and black hair.

The wondrous thing about being an adult is that you have so much more to worry about that you stop striking poses and get on with it.

Unless you are an Elder Goth - in which case you have fashion on your side and everybody else against you.

What worries me is that teenagers are less equipped to manage strong emotions and a cult of suicide could have real and horrible consequences.

It is irresponsible for the fashion and music cultures to encourage it. If you want retro style, I recommend Ian Dury's song Reasons To Be Cheerful.

crazy crazy crazy woman. i vote we start a protest against this slander of good music and good people. post this on ur own lj if u think this idiot should be sacked.



(no subject)

I have discovered myself an obsession for licking things.....mainly jj's face (or sunglasses when i miss) but i was just sat randomly licking my arm today trying to pick up my bracelet with my tounge and then i realised and was just like, ok then, wtf? 

well other than licking things i have been spending all my money already, half of it went last nite on a hell of alot of wkd blue at claires birthday party, then the other half went today on random food, drink, sweets, doughnuts *ahem* cigarettes y'know, stuff.

I don't smoke though.

or drink for that matter, especially in school.


society sucks

most people just want to be the same,
most people will do anything to be 'cool',
most people follow magazines like bibles,
most people are sad tht totp is gone because they don't know what music they should buy anymore,

I am not like them, I would rather die!!

they hate me for it and i know it, so i make them hate me more by returning there insults with thank yous and softly blown kisses. I hate their guts none the less. I just don't let them know that or they would tear me apart, i see it in their eyes.
I write something that no-one but my friends is suppossed to read and they attack me for it, without even asking why i did it.
I wear clothes that express who i am and what i'm here for and they slate me for it and tell me not to go outside.
I put a chain, one simple inoffensive chain on the back of my jacket and some stupid bastard has to yank it off because it's not something they would do.

it almost makes me want to give up being myself, if they had done this to me earlier mayb i would turn back but it's just too late now. They wouldn't take me back anyway. not that i would want them too.
  • Current Music
    dresden dolls - backstabber

(no subject)

yay!!! I'm goin out with chris!

omg just got distracted!!! Indi, go to panic at the disco's myspace, there is a banner sayin tht dresden dolls are supportin their tour or summat like tht!!! how mad!

ok my life, it's awesome. Chris is the cutest thing. I'm gonna stop this now it will just be a page full of chris babble.

Oh, got new jeans, grey drainpipes - very emo


hey I'm emily, otherwise known as kitten. I'm 16. I love music and art and stuff, basically being myself. I joined this community because i'm bored and thort maybe i mite find nice people.

u can add my myspace too if u like, comment me if u do tho so i know who you are.

x kitten x
  • Current Music
    Bowie - five years